P(B)eing in Public

Its been almost a month since i arrived in Chennai now. Room cleaning is still going on, but room looks a lot better now. Work started in the office. Still i'm learning to adapt both in the office and outside in the city. In office, its definitely weird with all the people around talking in tamil, as i spent most of my working days in Mumbai and USA with people talking in Hindi or English around me. I don't feel like i'm in office, rather feel like in college. It would take few more days to get used to that i guess. And i hate that every time i step out of my cubicle and come back, i have to search for a free chair and push it to my place and adjust the chair to my height and sit.

Outside in the public places, still i'm learning how to behave, what to do and what not to do. In some places like Browsing centers, xerox shops etc., i walked in directly with footwear on and some even had to rudely tell me to leave them outside. So now wherever i go, i first look outside if others left their footwear outside or if people inside wearing their footwear or not. The thing i'm still not able to figure out is where a queue is. Most of the times i go and stand in banks, cafeterias when there is only one person before me talking to officers or ordering food in the counter and i assume 'ok, i need to stand behind and form a queue'. But when i do, after sometime someone else will come and go directly to counter even while they are still dealing with other person and start ordering their food or start discussing their requests, simultaneously giving me a look like 'why is this fellow standing here?' . To save face, i had to start looking at menu in the wall and act like i'm still not decided what to have or look around like waiting for someone.

I went to my hometown 2 weeks back, which i decided i have to go at least 2-3 weeks once to compensate for not being home for 4.5 years. That was also a new experience as i never much traveled in bus from Chennai to hometown often. When i was in Mumbai i used to come to Chennai via flight and reach my hometown via train. And i always came during non-festival times to avoid crowd. Chennai to anywhere in weekends it busy and crowded in buses. So i had booked a semi sleeper to go  and sleeper for return. Friday night when i had to go to Koyambedu from my office i took a government bus and it was full crowded and it brought back all the memories of when i used to travel like this and be happy even if i get a proper place to stand first and slowly after few stops will get a seat to sit and i would feel like the luckiest person in the world. Same thing happened this time too, but i realized how people of all financial strata were in that bus and soon after reaching koyambedu, people will split and some will go to take a government bus, some semi sleeper and some sleeper, with A/C and without A/C etc.

I reached Koyambedu and got on the semi sleeper bus which i booked, though i had hard time making sure i got on the right bus, with my Dad and sister kept calling me giving me tips on what to check, how to check with drivers, like the final destination of bus, whether it will go through our home town or not, if not where should i get down and tell the driver to stop at that place and tell conductor to wake me up etc. Then i reached home in the morning and again, my village felt like heaven to live. Same old Prince-treatment in home, my mom's cooking, pillows flying when i lie down in front of TV, neighbors still coming to my home just to meet me and say Hi, playing with neighbor's kids etc. 2 days went by in a jiff and sunday night i boarded a sleeper bus which came via my village itself. As usual my Mom made sweets for me and my friends, this time Rava laddu and Ellu urundai.

I had to get down at Guindy, so i kapt alarm for 4AM and slept soon. But i woke up at 3:30 itself as i had to relieve myself. But the bus will reach Guindy only after an hour. So i decided to hold it, but it started getting difficult and i thought of telling the driver to stop somewhere so i can relieve myself, but i didn't know if that's normal or they will look at me like i'm from another planet(like some of you reading this thinks about me). With that hesitation, i kept holding it and the bus reached Guindy at 5 AM. Now i'm in a hurry and absolutely can't wait, i kept walking here and there to find a lonely place, but everywhere i could see one or two people. There was a subway nearby and i crossed the road through that and found that the railway station is just on the opposite side. For some reason i thought there will be a restroom in railway station, then reminded myself i'm in India. I couldn't stand in one place for few seconds, i kept walking here and there and crossed the road via subway both ways couple of times. But i didn't find any lonely place to relieve and went to nearby petrol bunk and asked them if they have a bathroom and they said no. Meanwhile i kept trying to find an auto/cab via ola and thought i can hold for few minutes and use the bathroom in my room itself. But it kept saying "Sorry all rides are full, try again after sometime". A part of me kept telling me 'come on, this is India, just pee away. No one will mind. You have done it a lot of times before you went to USA. Just turn your back and pee anywhere in the road, don't worry about people behind you.'  But another part of me kept telling me 'come on, whatever good habits you developed in USA, keep following that, like keeping the room clean, following rules, don't throw trash in street and don't pee in public. Why should you follow all good things in another country and once you're in your home country, you should start treating it like garbage and then blame the nation'. 

While my brain split into two factions and continued this debate about moral conundrum , my bladder was about to burst and if i don't open the gate soon, i'm running into the risk of flooding. While crossing the subway back and forth i noticed there was a place in the middle of subway, steps on the side leading into the middle of the road. But the exit of that stairs was closed with a shutter and it looked like a closed room. I decided that's the only place i can pee with minimum people around. Maximum one or two people walking in subway could see me, but what the hell. So i started walking into subway and went to those stairs near the middle  and it was dark and finally i started relieving myself standing in the angle so my back is towards the shutter and subway and i could hear few people walking in subway behind me, but i was too busy to bother about that. Before i could complete, a bus came and stopped exactly in front of the shutter and a bunch of people started getting down and i was standing right in front of them and they could see me through the shutter. It was a good thing i was standing with my back towards shutter, though not entirely. I felt so awkward and embarrassed, but i couldn't do anything, the gates were already open and can't stop the outflow. The bus left immediately and i also completed and finally relieved. Still little embarrassed, i started walking in subway and towards one side of the road and the second i entered the road, there was a man peeing on the side of the road and of course many people were in the road minding their businesses.

I started thinking how much ladies would be facing this issue in our country. There was no public restroom in many places. I don't know if there are restrooms in local railway stations. Remembered how ladies are very careful about not drinking water before long travel, using restrooms before beginning travel etc. After coming from USA, i'm trying to follow few things, like doing physical activities such as badminton, reading books, keeping room clean, washing clothes regularly, not eating fried items much, not using same socks twice etc. But these are all personal things which i believe i can maintain in long term. But when going out and spending time in public places, being in traffic etc, i don't think i can follow rules. Maybe our country become too convoluted for that. After i start driving i will get to know how much traffic rules i have to follow and how much i shouldn't to survive in road.

I have booked an Yamaha Ray ZR and will get this week mostly. Initially i was hesitant to buy a scooter as i thought people would tease me saying it's girly and all. But after seeing the traffic in Chennai and how people drive, its really very scary. So i'm not worried about getting teased now. First let me drive the scooter and get used to our road and people, then i will think about driving bike in Chennai. Next week, would start driving scooter and don't know how many new bad words in Tamil i'm gonna learn in the process.

About continuing reading habits, i just completed one small book "Periyarum Arasiyalum". Not getting the mood or proper time and place to read a book. Still trying to find a way to continue reading. Ordered a couple of Murakami books via amazon and they are waiting in shelf for me.
Book count for the year at 15/30.

Started playing badminton regularly and it's definitely a good physical activity and hoping to continue that and get better in that slowly.

Chennai's Welcome

Ever Since my Visa extension denied, my friends and colleagues were teasing/threatening me about Chennai. I have only stayed 3 months in Chennai in my life, when i was in bench during initial days of my career. So technically i have never worked in Chennai. Never traveled to office on a daily basis. The major things they mentioned about Chennai is its traffic(though not as bad as Bangalore), and the fact that i have never driven a gear bike in my life, and the recently increasing phone snatching incidents. They told not to take my phone out in public, even if i have to i should be careful and brief etc. Some said that i will know how difficult it is to go somewhere or meet somebody and how i have to plan well in advance for all those things. One of my friend, immediately after hearing that i'm coming to Chennai, uttered the phrase "Sivaji, neenga America-vukey thirumba poidunga, Chennai-lam ungaluku othu varaadhu". Colleagues especially told about offshore work environment, the politics, and once i'm in Chennai i can forget about coming back to USA, as already many people are in line waiting to go to USA. And everyone strictly said "Don't ever go to TASMAC, if you want to drink, go to decent bar or get from elite wine shops".

At the end they also said some good things like "Boss, however it is, that's namma Chennai and you will get used to it and then you will have a good time", "Chennai is the most happening place boss", "You will definitely love hanging out in Cafeteria, tea breaks, etc in office which you don't experience much in Onsite", "Enjoy your rest of the bachelor life" etc.

Once i decided i'm going to Chennai, i told two of my college friends who are still in Chennai and as bachelors, that i will be coming to their room to stay. So few things i took as positives are that
1. i will be staying with my college friends for the remaining bachelor life and i don't have to worry about finding roommates and sharing apartments with strangers etc.
2. I can finally start driving bike and being with college friends would be helpful in that aspect too.
3. However nice life i had in USA, i felt lonely in the last one year, except when i spent time with my GF, so i thought i will be surrounded by people in and out of office and will be a learning experience work wise and personally.
4. I have few friends in Chennai from college, work, school etc and i can visit them and their families finally. I missed attending friends and their families functions etc for very long time.
5. And finally i can go home in the weekends and have my Mom's cooking and relax in home.

Few things i worried about are(other than the things which friends already warned):

1. Its a chance to start driving bike, but will i be able to?
2. I was playing Tennis, volley ball, badminton, cricket etc in the summer in USA. Would i do get to do any physical activity in Chennai ever?
3. I started reading for last one year, and will i get to continue that habit in Chennai?
4. And with the Scorching heat and lack of physical activity, would i grow dark and fat?(My GF worries a lot about this ;) ).
5. I'm going to stay with my college friends which is exciting, but how clean/dirty the room is going to be?

After a week's rest in home, i decided to leave on friday night so i will Chennai on Saturday morning and spend the weekend in Chennai before reporting to office on monday. The main reason for reaching Chennai early is to clean the room. I definitely know my friends would still keep the room as same as how we kept in college. But after living relatively clean in USA, i can't live in a room which is that dirty. So i reached Chennai on saturday morning and had my first Ola ride and reached the room. And it was exactly how i imagined it would be. It was like i time travelled 10 years back to college.

I said 'Hi' to my friends, had tea and some chitchat and they went back to sleep and i immediately started cleaning. I got tired very soon and realized its not possible for me clean(2years of dirt) completely and gave up. But i couldn't even breath in the room. It was suffocating, and wherever i look, its dirt and bathroom floors and tiles were darker and water was not flowing out of drain properly in toilet and the faucet in the toilet was broken. I started thinking if i should really live there. Then we met another friend who came from abroad for vacation and while chitchatting i told my friends(now roommates), that i can't live here with the room in this condition that either we need to clean the room completely or have to look for a PG for me. They said "ok, we'll have some cleaning guys clean the room and if you're still not satisfied, we'll look for a PG for you" and i said 'ok'. Then on Monday we hired a guy for cleaning and he cleaned the bathroom floors, walls, all the floors in all rooms etc with Acid and fixed the drain in toilet, replaced the toilet faucet, painted the toilet floor with white cement and after all that the room didn't look so bad. Yet there were many bags and suitcases in the shelves covered with dusts which we need to clean later. But to start with, the room looked better and i decided to stay here itself.

The first weekend we traveled to few places to meet friends and mostly via Ola and it wasn't so bad, but i was terrified to see the traffic and the way everyone drive in the road. I tried driving my friends bike once and gave up even before going 100 meters. I decided first i should start driving a normal vehicle like scooty or activa and get used to the Chennai crowds, traffic and cows in the roads and then i can try driving a gear bike.

Whenever i walked in road, i couldn't breath. Everywhere the stench of garbages, fish markets, piss, spit etc and i was afraid to breath actually. With my room also very dirty for first few days, i think i actually exhaled air thrice than i inhaled. I was getting worried about how i'm gonna live here and it was a nostalgic feeling like wherever you go new, you get that worry and fear, but later you get used to it. But here i don't want to get used to all these. Sure, i can't clean the roads, but atleast the room i can keep clean and slowly we continued cleaning the shelves, kitchen etc and tidied up the room in one week and the room looks a lot better now. We started cooking too, thanks to Kalaignar's demise which made the shops closed for a day.

And the office, its very new to me. When i first stayed in Chennai for 3 months, i rarely went to office or worked in an ODC,cubicle etc. So looking around and everywhere people and all speaking in Tamil is totally new to me. Cafeteria especially looks like a marriage hall all the time. It was also nice to see so many girls around, i rarely saw any girls in office in USA. I just got the ID and Access cards in the first week and the work is not yet started completely and i getting used to stay in office till 9PM.

Overall, Chennai scares me a lot, but i'm getting used to it. I can see the change in a week itself. But i don't know if what to get used to it completely, because i don't know what my long term plan is. My GF is waiting for me to come back to USA. Even if she comes back to India and we marry next year, we can't settle in Chennai as she doesn't speak Tamil and it will be overwhelming for her. So for now, i'm settling in Chennai temporarily and have to look for other options soon.

So far, i'm not doing any physical work like gym or sports etc and if i maintain that way, i will become fat(ter). I started reading a book and i have to catch up soon with my count of 30 books this year(14 completed so far).

More on my life in Chennai in the coming days.............

Thai Manne Vanakkam - Part 2

I finally got the email from my company a week later on 07/12, mentioning that my Visa extension denied and i have to leave the country in 1-2 weeks. People kept saying that i'm going to India after 4.5 years and i should buy lot of things for everyone in home. I'm terrible at buying things for other people. My girlfriend accompanied me for shopping and those few days we were fighting for everything, even in buying chocolates. I didn't want to carry any extra baggage. I'm really lazy in submitting claim request and following up with managers for the same and all. So i just fitted everything in the allowed 2 check-in bags and one carry on bag. In the airport i still had to throw away 3 kg chocolates and couple of shoes etc to bring the weight of each bag to 23kg.

Flight was booked on Etihad airways and i finally left USA on 07/18/2018 and reached India on 07/19/2018 night. Whole travel i couldn't sleep much. My mind was on how i'm going to adapt to India and Chennai soon and whether i should try my chances of going back to USA soon or not. My Dad and my cousin came in cab from my hometown to Bangalore to pick me up. Two of school friends also came to airport to see me. The moment i came of out of airport and saw my Dad,cousin and my friends, i couldn't stop blushing. It felt like a generation after i'm seeing them.

Then we started immediately and reached my home on 07/20 3:30 am. That travel itself gave a glimpse of India. The traffic, the honking noises, bad odor on roadsides, unhygienic restaurants on highways etc. Then after reaching home, it was awesome, relaxing, comfortable and full of love. I soon realized how much i missed spending time with my family, my village, neighbors, relatives etc. Looking at Mom's smile makes us forgot all the worries. Getting insulted by sister makes us forget all our ego. I stayed one week in home and had my favourite foods(that are most delicious only when my Mom cooks) that i have missed very badly for long. Idly with Tomato kurma and coconut chutney, rice and karuvattu kuzhambu, Idly with Mutton kurma, Appam with coconut milk, lemon rice(i never liked lemon rice unless its made by my Mom), Banana stem stir fry, various green leaf dishes, etc.

First 2-3 days i only ate and slept due to jet lag. Then started meeting relatives one by one. I hardly recognized anyone other than people who were past 30. More new kids, kids had become grownups, teenagers had become adults. Everywhere new houses were built, all the streets in which i played when i was a kid looked very small, maybe due to the all houses became big and tall. Meeting the relatives made me feel how much i have been an outsider for so long, yet they still treat me as special. Almost every one in my village came to my house to say 'Hi'. It was good to see my village and the people didn't change much, except for bigger houses. Neighbors chatting till 11PM at night, people walking into each others houses with just yelling "Yekkovvvvv....", neighbor's kids playing in our home, helping neighbor kids homeworks etc.

I practiced gear bike for few days and had some improvement. But still my Dad kept telling me to buy a gear-less two wheeler as it would be difficult to drive in Chennai. As the days kept passing and i had to leave for Chennai, fear again struck in me. CHENNAI.....ever since Visa rejection, people kept teasing me that i'm going to have a tough time in Chennai. I finally left for Chennai on 07/27 night.

Chennai's welcome, soon....